Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Monday, June 18, 2012
Thursday, March 24, 2011
mommy blog 3
Well another beautiful day out, the sun is shinning off the pond, the ducks are swimming, and last but not least the Blue Herin is there.
It has been better for Deron these last few days at school. I am praying it will continue. I would rather this resolve on it's own than me having to intervine.
Desirae has started the process of having a expander put in her mouth. She will have it put in next week. She has spacers in now to put enough space to attach it to her teeth. She will also have partial braces put on at some point. Wow so much to get her teeth to do what they are suppost to do. She is my little mommy she loves her dolls. She loves to play with them. They do so much it is amazing. They all have names of babies she knows and they do what those babies are doing. She just named one Jaxon after a new baby at church. I love watching her and listening to her as she learns to be their mommy.
She is in Fourth grade this year. She is doing well. It is a struggle for her but she is pushing through.
She has a genetic disorder, ADHD, she is developmentally delayed,but you would never know it.
She is amazing, kind and caring. She is a go getter. When she was a baby she was determined to do things and she still is. That's what I love about her and the fact she always has a smile on her face.
Deron is my little man, loves to tell jokes and is so creative and can create something from his head out of Lego's and kinexs. It is so cool to watch him make things out of them. He loves rocks and knows allot about them.
We love to go to the zoo when we have nothing else to do. We know our way around pretty good now. We all have our favorites, The gorilla's, the bears, and the meerkats. We have grown to love seeing them all.
We are going to the beach during spring break. It will be fun to just hang out. I am looking forward to walks on the beach and some time with God in a beautiful setting. There is something about the ocean that brings you to new insights into God's love.
The kids are looking forward to bike rides and sand.
I am getting ready to do lesson two in "How to make your kids mind with out loosing yours"
It has been good for me and I have done well with week one so on to week two.
Have a wonderful day!
Monday, March 21, 2011
mommy blog 2
I am asked the question "how do you do it with two kids with special needs?"
My answer the same as you do one day at a time. I put one foot in front of the other and I face the day and I get through what the day brings.
It isn't easy or fun but it isn't impossible. There are days I cry silently through and sometimes the tears come without my wanting them to. Then there are days that are the best ever days and we laugh and wish that day could last forever.
Reality hits hard at times but I bounce back.
I don't say it is easy but it is possible to get through as long as I invite God into my day. Because with out Him in my life it would be pretty hard to cope with what life hands out. In reality even without the issues I face, if I didn't allow God in I would have a hard time coping.
Jesus has made a big difference in my life. He walks with me each day, but somedays I walk off from His presence and then I fall into the world. It is those days when I fail I come back to Him and He so graciousally excepts me where I am at.
I realize That my dreams may not be obtained, and I ask myself whose dreams are they mine or His?
It is hard to let go, but He knows best.
I would love to help out at church more but, the reality of it is I can't at this time in my life as I have Deron and Desirae to care for and God has placed them in my care. He will let me know when I can.
As a parent of special needs kids I grieve for what I feel I lost. Dreams for my kids wishes and wants for them may not be realized or come to be. But on the other hand they show me so much of what it takes to be a good person, and they show me that they can acheive alot of what they want to do. They have dreams and wishes that they can and will achieve. They see the good in places and people I might miss.
Yes in some ways my life is different but in alot of ways it is not.
My answer the same as you do one day at a time. I put one foot in front of the other and I face the day and I get through what the day brings.
It isn't easy or fun but it isn't impossible. There are days I cry silently through and sometimes the tears come without my wanting them to. Then there are days that are the best ever days and we laugh and wish that day could last forever.
Reality hits hard at times but I bounce back.
I don't say it is easy but it is possible to get through as long as I invite God into my day. Because with out Him in my life it would be pretty hard to cope with what life hands out. In reality even without the issues I face, if I didn't allow God in I would have a hard time coping.
Jesus has made a big difference in my life. He walks with me each day, but somedays I walk off from His presence and then I fall into the world. It is those days when I fail I come back to Him and He so graciousally excepts me where I am at.
I realize That my dreams may not be obtained, and I ask myself whose dreams are they mine or His?
It is hard to let go, but He knows best.
I would love to help out at church more but, the reality of it is I can't at this time in my life as I have Deron and Desirae to care for and God has placed them in my care. He will let me know when I can.
As a parent of special needs kids I grieve for what I feel I lost. Dreams for my kids wishes and wants for them may not be realized or come to be. But on the other hand they show me so much of what it takes to be a good person, and they show me that they can acheive alot of what they want to do. They have dreams and wishes that they can and will achieve. They see the good in places and people I might miss.
Yes in some ways my life is different but in alot of ways it is not.
I may not obtain my dreams but I am content in my life and I am placing those dreams on hold for the time being.
Jerimiah 29:11-14
"For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope, and a future.....
This is what God has for me and all I need to do is call on Him and He will answer and He will listen to my hearts cry. I hold on to this promise He has given me. He has spoken this in my heart. I hold on to those precious words.
He is my guide as long as I ask for His guidance.
This is how I truimph in each day.
Carolyn
Mommy Blog 1
I have decided to start writing my feelings down as a way of letting go and healing.
As most of you know I am a single parent of two wonderful children whom have extra challenges in life.
It has been a challenge to be a good parent. It isn't always easy and it can be and is at times very lonely. I have put allot of dreams of mine on hold. I am not angry that I have had to do that but there are days I wish I could do some of those things. I wouldn't trade any of what has happened in my life as it has grown me in ways I wouldn't have been otherwise.
Deron is my first child through adoption. Adoption is such a wonderful gift given to a family. God has placed Deron in my home and I love him. Deron's birth mom made choices that effected Deron even before he was born. He has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. This is not who he is but what he has. He is allot like any other teenager, he wants to fit in. He wants to be excepted and needed. He wants to have a friend, someone who excepts him for who he is. Someone who doesn't mind his brain works different and causes him troubles at times. Deron doesn't choose to be different he was born this way and his brain is different because of choices made without his consent. As Deron once said to me as a small three year old child after he first learned about FAS,"Mom I wish she would have asked me if I wanted her to drink, I would have said no" with tears streaming down his little cheeks and mine.
What really hurts is the fact Deron is bullied at school and at our church. I have been homeschooling because he has been bullied to an extreme. He has started back to school part time so his IEP needs can be addressed and he is being bullied again in the new school. It breaks my heart to hear this going on. He tries to be brave and act like it doesn't hurt , but when we have our little talks he confides in me and there are tears at times. He wonders why, he wonders if there is something really wrong with him, am I ugly, am I not a worthy person. He has allot of insight for someone his age and he is very smart. He looks very normal.
I tell people that if the know some about Autism they might understand some of Deron's brain issues. It is a challenge for Deron to make it through a day without an overload. He tries his best to keep things together in spite of what kids dish out, but he has his limits like you or I, but it seems in our world that kids with disabilities have to be far better than those who don't. The looks we parents get when a teenager has a meltdown due to overload because of what others throw at him, You must be a bad parent because your child just pushed so n so, but they failed to ask why so and so threatened to take a shot gun to Deron's head if he continued to share in a group setting at church how he felt when so and so did something to Deron. The list goes on and on. The thing I feel is that it is not ok for Deron to be upset about what they are doing to him, but it is ok to let them keep on bulling Deron because he has a disability and well he probably doesn't feel anyway. Well that is farthest from the truth he does and he knows when kids are making fun of him and he holds it in. He tries to get help by going to a teacher but even teachers say you are tattling. Deron has a hard time processing information it takes him awhile to get out all that has happened. He sees everything all at once but has a hard time going piece by piece to get the big picture out. He feels people don't listen to him and that makes him more upset.
I know most people don't know or understand him and I try and let people know about his disability so that they can be a bit more patient with him and listen. He is not being a tattle tail he is going to an adult for help. He needs that help to mediate the problems.
I will be going to his school to try and get the school stuff under control, but the church I am not so sure about as It seems that it doesn't do much good there as I have tried to explain to them, so for now Deron doesn't attend the youth group as he was placed in the wrong group and was face to face with the one kid you hurt him at the retreat, When asked why he was upset Deron shared and the kid under his breath threatened to bring a shot gun to his head if he continued. Deron tried to talk with the youth pastor and he got upset and left because he felt like he wasn't being listened to and the pastor kept asking him why did you push him instead of listening to Deron or asking the other kid what he might have done. It was all one sided. So this is the second time since January, Deron has not gone back for a period of time. I am planning on a sit down with the pastor when I get everything together. This is a few of the things that I go through with my son. I am sharing this as I need to vent and let it out so I can heal.
Carolyn
As most of you know I am a single parent of two wonderful children whom have extra challenges in life.
It has been a challenge to be a good parent. It isn't always easy and it can be and is at times very lonely. I have put allot of dreams of mine on hold. I am not angry that I have had to do that but there are days I wish I could do some of those things. I wouldn't trade any of what has happened in my life as it has grown me in ways I wouldn't have been otherwise.
Deron is my first child through adoption. Adoption is such a wonderful gift given to a family. God has placed Deron in my home and I love him. Deron's birth mom made choices that effected Deron even before he was born. He has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. This is not who he is but what he has. He is allot like any other teenager, he wants to fit in. He wants to be excepted and needed. He wants to have a friend, someone who excepts him for who he is. Someone who doesn't mind his brain works different and causes him troubles at times. Deron doesn't choose to be different he was born this way and his brain is different because of choices made without his consent. As Deron once said to me as a small three year old child after he first learned about FAS,"Mom I wish she would have asked me if I wanted her to drink, I would have said no" with tears streaming down his little cheeks and mine.
What really hurts is the fact Deron is bullied at school and at our church. I have been homeschooling because he has been bullied to an extreme. He has started back to school part time so his IEP needs can be addressed and he is being bullied again in the new school. It breaks my heart to hear this going on. He tries to be brave and act like it doesn't hurt , but when we have our little talks he confides in me and there are tears at times. He wonders why, he wonders if there is something really wrong with him, am I ugly, am I not a worthy person. He has allot of insight for someone his age and he is very smart. He looks very normal.
I tell people that if the know some about Autism they might understand some of Deron's brain issues. It is a challenge for Deron to make it through a day without an overload. He tries his best to keep things together in spite of what kids dish out, but he has his limits like you or I, but it seems in our world that kids with disabilities have to be far better than those who don't. The looks we parents get when a teenager has a meltdown due to overload because of what others throw at him, You must be a bad parent because your child just pushed so n so, but they failed to ask why so and so threatened to take a shot gun to Deron's head if he continued to share in a group setting at church how he felt when so and so did something to Deron. The list goes on and on. The thing I feel is that it is not ok for Deron to be upset about what they are doing to him, but it is ok to let them keep on bulling Deron because he has a disability and well he probably doesn't feel anyway. Well that is farthest from the truth he does and he knows when kids are making fun of him and he holds it in. He tries to get help by going to a teacher but even teachers say you are tattling. Deron has a hard time processing information it takes him awhile to get out all that has happened. He sees everything all at once but has a hard time going piece by piece to get the big picture out. He feels people don't listen to him and that makes him more upset.
I know most people don't know or understand him and I try and let people know about his disability so that they can be a bit more patient with him and listen. He is not being a tattle tail he is going to an adult for help. He needs that help to mediate the problems.
I will be going to his school to try and get the school stuff under control, but the church I am not so sure about as It seems that it doesn't do much good there as I have tried to explain to them, so for now Deron doesn't attend the youth group as he was placed in the wrong group and was face to face with the one kid you hurt him at the retreat, When asked why he was upset Deron shared and the kid under his breath threatened to bring a shot gun to his head if he continued. Deron tried to talk with the youth pastor and he got upset and left because he felt like he wasn't being listened to and the pastor kept asking him why did you push him instead of listening to Deron or asking the other kid what he might have done. It was all one sided. So this is the second time since January, Deron has not gone back for a period of time. I am planning on a sit down with the pastor when I get everything together. This is a few of the things that I go through with my son. I am sharing this as I need to vent and let it out so I can heal.
Carolyn
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